I wonder …

The lyrics to the song I Wonder by Rodriguez stuck in my head from an early age. The title I find quite appropriate to my current relationship with M (New girl). Here is my variation on the lyrics.

I wonder how you really feel about me
And I wonder is there an us in your mind
I wonder if it will ever work out
And I wonder if your parents will mind

I wonder what kind of lover you are
And I wonder who you call when “hot”
I wonder just who you’ve been with
And I wonder if you sad we cannot

I wonder if you cried when we stopped
And I wonder will a third time result
I wonder do you dream like I do
And I wonder do they ever come true

I wonder why you never ask me out
And I wonder if you really just lonely
I wonder why you so happy to follow
And I wonder how far I can take you

I wonder will you always be so closed
And I wonder if you long to be more open
I wonder how many questions you have
And I wonder will they ever get asked

I wonder what you do with your time
And I wonder if you really are fine
I wonder who you love and who not
And I wonder do you care / do you not!?

Your tears haunt me

I’m lost without you now, why’d things go this way
A beautiful union broken, just the memories remain

Memories of times together, slowly fogging and drift away
The future I dream’t in tatters, those embers turned to ash

Life’s a dull grey hollow, daily tears feeding the sorrow
My broken heart won’t heal … but to heal is to forget so NO

I see you here, I see you there … heart and mind conspiring against me
A ghost reflection, a scent, a sound … senses that trigger pain, trigger you

Tossing and turning all night, tormented by lost love
Those restful nights beside you, fragmented echos now

Eyes I once lost myself in, awash with hurt and grief
Your tears now haunt me baby, can’t block that memory