You meet a new person, a potential new partner, play partner, lover (anything that goes beyond one night). Right, what can I remember about them? Their name, occupation, interests … Armed with that information you turn to Google and Facebook. Few people are that stealthy, that a simple online search doesn’t reveal quite a bit about them. We do this why? Hopefully just to check that they are who they say they are and maybe to see what they are into (or not into) or even if you have some friends in common that you are not aware of. Hopefully nothing more sinister. Hopefully it’s just to protect yourself … know who you are dealing with …
This form of cyber searching does not fall anywhere near stalking. But when does cyber snooping cross over into unacceptable stalking?
I keep tabs on my ex, K. We have been broken up for 10 months but I am still very much in love with her (our breakup wasn’t as a result of us falling out). For both our sake we keep our distance from each other. But I look at her Facebook occasionally and even friends Facebook pages for comments from her. Anyway to find out how she is … We both belonged to a “socialising group” who’s website I check to see what events she might be going to. This is both out of curiosity and just in a very few circumstances, to avoid running into each other. I need to give her space and don’t want to interfere with her new life. We are both kinky and on Fetlife. Practically from day one I deactivated my FL account. I have no need for it at the moment and I know if I was still on there I would be looking at her page and it would tear me to shreads. For a similar reason I am off Whatsapp. This is a bit of a bugger as most of my friends use Whatsapp as the day to day messaging app. But fuck it, my sanity is way more important than being able to message Jimmy or Jessica easily.
Is this snooping … fair enough? Or is it wrong of me?
I know that she wouldn’t think badly of me for doing so but what about you?